{"id":9,"date":"2011-01-31T01:42:35","date_gmt":"2011-01-31T01:42:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/spriggy.com\/?p=9"},"modified":"2015-04-22T15:04:08","modified_gmt":"2015-04-22T22:04:08","slug":"9","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/spriggy.com\/?p=9","title":{"rendered":"He gone and done it"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’ve looked everywhere….and I mean everywhere (except for inside the heater vents, but let’s be reasonable folks).\u00a0 It wasn’t thrown away, it’s not in the fridge, and it’s not that thumping I hear with every rotation in my dryer.<\/p>\n

I officially\u00a0cannot find the\u00a0remote control<\/em> for my television.\u00a0 It’s disappeared\u00a0and it has\u00a0been gone for 2 weeks now and the only\u00a0rational thought is that my Friday Night stole it!\u00a0 It was there at midnight but not at six in the morning.\u00a0 That leads to only one possibility.<\/p>\n

He stole it!\u00a0 Yep, \u00a0I really do think he stole it.\u00a0 Who you ask?\u00a0 My date!!\u00a0 The\u00a0guy I selected to watch a movie\u00a0on\u00a0the couch with.\u00a0 He\u00a0stole my remote!\u00a0 Now as one person pointed out to me this is\u00a0preposterous but I’ve been dating long enough to know that nothing would surprise me.\u00a0 Could this be weirdo # 237 who\u00a0 obviously is a clepto.\u00a0\u00a0Please get your mind\u00a0out of the gutter.\u00a0\u00a0This movie watching was completely innocent.\u00a0 Nothing was being thrown across the room and if it had I think I would have heard the remote crash against the wall.<\/p>\n

I don’t understand.\u00a0 Does he have my same television?\u00a0 Is he trying to push my buttons (no pun intended here but I’ll laugh anyway)? Is this the lamest attempt to make me burn more calories?\u00a0 Apparently I need to up my criteria for Friday Nights.<\/p>\n

And If he, weirdo # 237, would want a second chance?\u00a0 He would thoughtfully go out and buy me a new one to redeem himself.\u00a0 That would make a girls heart melt and he\u00a0easily would beforgiven.\u00a0 And Please…..make sure it’s the the Logitech Universal Remote listed here.<\/a>\u00a0 Maybe things would be flying across of the room.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’ve looked everywhere….and I mean everywhere (except for inside the heater vents, but let’s be reasonable folks).\u00a0 It wasn’t thrown away, it’s not in the fridge, and it’s not that thumping I hear with every rotation in my dryer. I officially\u00a0cannot find the\u00a0remote control for my television.\u00a0 It’s disappeared\u00a0and it has\u00a0been gone for 2 weeks […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":206,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-2-0"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/spriggy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/spriggy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/spriggy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spriggy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spriggy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/spriggy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11,"href":"https:\/\/spriggy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9\/revisions\/11"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spriggy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/206"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/spriggy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spriggy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spriggy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}