Hair today….gone tomorrow

really thought gray hair around the temples was just for men.  It’s one of the first places we women notice about the opposite sex detailing their age, and often times even upping their desirability.  After all isn’t this feature what made George Clooney a better candidate for the sexiest man alive? He wasn’t even on the radar during his Facts of Life days.  Doesn’t a man look more distinguished in this case, with wisdom ever declaring itself so casually?  Even my older brother doesn’t appear his age at 44, despite his salt and pepper state.  But the long and lean fiber, extended from under my sunglasses doesn’t make me feel more distinguished when I notice it,  but rather much less desirable as a woman. I know that if I pulled it twenty would appear over night in its place.  Wait…maybe it is a sign of wisdom and experience. 

Man or woman?  Think Jamie Lee Curtis

It is one of many signs that age is creeping in.  Maybe I’m feeling a little down as my morning run was interrupted by knee pain inhibiting completion of a wimpy three miles.  I’m starting to feel that the paperwork for social security and medicare is on tomorrow’s to do list.  Yet I wonder why I’m fighting it.  Why can’t I own my gray hair, my crows feet or for that matter the extra 10 lbs that endlessly lingers?  Why aren’t my thirties the best years of my life?  Why am I not living life to the fullest and grateful for the attributes and signs proving I’ve lived another day on God’s green earth?

More than likely these signs are the constant reminder that I’m single and the preponderance of gray only adds to the anxiety of adding yet another item to the monthly budget.  It’a the reminder that I should always look my best (Never leave the house in curlers!) because I never know when I could run into Mr. Right and that he might visualize one of these gray hairs and cast judgement upon it for bedding itself down with a washed up old hag.

Too critical?  Maybe, but do not confuse my rant with gray hair not being beautiful.  We all know beautiful gray haired women. But for me, they just stress me out.   I begin to  wonder if  the best and healthiest years of my life may just as well be behind me.  I begin to worry that I’ve already grown old without the love of my life. Does anybody else feel the same?  Am I starting to experience a mid-life crisis?  Do I need to go out and find a hot man and buy me that dream car without passing go?

(that must be my mother talking from the grave).

and if you were wondering.  I pulled the hair.  At least for my lunch date today.  The consequence may come tomorrow but I’ll pretend I didn’t notice and feel better today.  

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