Sacrifice requires dedication

It has gotten out of control, become a daily indulgence….okay hourly indulgence, and I need to gain back my independence. All from a little bean from who knows where. And I’m not talking green, garbanzo, or even coffee. You Guessed it. CACAO BABY! (Said like Lightning McQueen of Course).

The new year brought new goals for lifestyle change. After six months of recouping on the couch I found myself out of shape, mentally soft and physically obtuse.  I needed desperately to ‘right the wrongs’ and focus intensely on what I knew would make me feel better about myself and my life.  First was and still is, to get back in shape.  Exercise is always a priority and guilt overwhelms me when I don’t.  A long road for a much atrophied body but my sites are set on a triathlon in June. I can do it! Second was and still is, to lose weight…..again.  Granted not as much as the baby weight but still a daunting task at my ripe old age. It seems a weekend of detox just doesn’t cut it any more. But, I can do it! Third is to eat well, to energize my mind and body and to focus on the nutrients of life.  I will do it!  But haven’t been willing to sacrifice, until now.

Herein lies the problem.  None of this can be done when you’re addicted to Chocolate. Mood booster, comforter and friend.  It seems that spoonfuls of Nutella (with a little peanut butter mixed in) can go along way in a crisis.  So can handfuls of Lindt truffles eaten like popcorn. It’s everywhere, it’s calling and it has taken over and clouded every aspect of my life.  I can’t have the energy to exercise, I won’t be able to lose weight properly, and won’t feel clear headed if not eating right.

I completely understand and am aware that the problem is not chocolate.  The problem is me.  I wish I could revel in just one but it always is uncontrolled portion size.  I have an issue and I need my agency back immediately.  It must start with chocolate and the sacrifice and dedication with giving it up. It’s hard, especially the first few days, but its completely worth it.  I’ve done it before and can do it again.  So I bid farewell with much fondness.

Good Bye Chocolate!  I love you and I’ll see you again in a month. When you don’t lead me by the hand as much as you do now.

(and if I were really dedicated it would be longer than a month)

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