How to measure the emotional intelligence of your ‘wasband’

I have always had a publicly neutral response to my ex-husband.  Unless you know me well, I have never opened up to to spill the beans on my thoughts about the ‘wasband’ or why our marriage ultimately ended.    However, sometimes I can’t believe I ever married him.  Have you ever thought that?   Like recently, when he sent me a child support check (an indebted thank you should be inserted here at his request as he always reminds me on how grateful I should be to receive any check 16 days late) and had my name spelled incorrectly.  Comical yes, and I quickly texted my immediate family for a good laugh.

But really, who does that?

At what level of emotional intelligence do you sink, to continue to make your ex feel that she/he is of no value to you……..YEARS after you have been divorced. Why would you send 28 text messages within a couple minutes but only to harass them?   And most importantly, why would you expect your ex-wife to remind you to pick up your child on the appropriate visitation day and blame her when you do not?  After all, she’s no longer your wife and has no control of your schedule or choices you make.  If for some reason a new copy of your divorce decree is needed,  the courthouse can provide you with one for about the price of your favorite beverage.    

Character is determined on how you treat others who can do nothing for you.  I’m not sure who to attribute that quote to but it resonates with me across many different lines.  Whether it be the people that you work with, the busser that clears your table, or the person you were previously married to, it really is about kindness and respect of individuality.  I’m not saying that you need to accept, befriend or even build a relationship with anybody but rather remember common courtesy.   Tearing people down to make yourself feel better is not the sign of maturity but is a sign of insecurities far beyond what that other person should have to deal with.  Hence the divorce.  Character exists far beyond just one relationship but is the reflection or who you are in every situation and interaction……even the person in which you are no longer married.

And that’s my soapbox for the day.